Impossible Love
by rachelangelx-men
Summary: After joining Xavier school for the gifted, Rachel finds herself literally falling head over heels in love with her teammate, Logan who is wolverine. will he love her back too? rated T because I wasn't sure what the others meant, and I stink at writing summaries.
1. Chapter 1

I woke with a start, gasping out of my dream. Collapsing against my bed as I realized it wasn't real. I almost broke into tears, my hand brushing through my brown hair that fell to my hips. Lately I had been having the most amazing dreams ever, only to wake and find they weren't real, forgetting them ten seconds later. I breathed in and out, barely making a noise in my bedroom on the west side of the mansion at Xavier's school for the gifted. Satisfied that I would not fall back asleep for a while, I allowed myself to think of the past few months.

Three months ago I started to attend Xavier's school for the gifted, because, I was, well, a mutant. A mutant with the ability to control temperature. Not exactly like bobby who could control ice and water, and not exactly like storm who could control weather. I got temperature, pure temperature wherever I wanted. I was quickly accepted into the x-men group a month later, which is where I met _him. _he was the one in my dreams each night, the one who kept me up countless hours at night, the only one I could think about all day. I had never thought of ever dating, let alone thought of falling for anyone. I was the type of person who on the outside was the friendliest and most trusting person, and popular people tended to hate me for it. But on the inside, I would secretly do anything to ensure maximum alone time. I was a single hawk, solitary by choice. But I would never let anyone else see that. They just didn't understand. Except maybe for Professor X.

Since I could have already graduated, I took three out of the regularly required six classes. Algebra 2, world history, and chemistry 2. My math class was taught by Scott, world history by Warren – who was very attractive by the way and showed signs of reverse teacher crush, and chemistry by Jean. I had two of the three available slots taken as a teacher position, I taught two dance classes. Both covered four different dances, as both storm and professor thought it would be beneficial to the young mutants to exert stress and talent into learning to dance. But this meant I spent my days here at the school in revealing skinny black leggings and either over-sized sweatshirts or spandex black tank tops. Not exactly the best thing in mind if your main goal isn't to attract attention. _That kind of attention._ But, other than Warren and a few boys younger than me, thankfully no one showed too much attraction.

All of my first month of classes here was great until the first day of x-men training when I was introduced to the group after only having met a few before. That was the day I met him. the day I fell for him. now I couldn't get him out of my mind. Potentially dangerous with a few telepaths in the mansion. But I could spend countless hours saying his name over and over again. _Logan. _No other name was quite like his. And I tried to envision me in his arms, him defending me with his claws against the forces of magneto. But it almost killed me. To try and think of him loving me back was impossible. He just couldn't. I didn't even know his last name or how old he was. But he couldn't be a day over twenty-five, right? And I was nineteen. At least, I think I'm nineteen. Being raised in a laboratory as an experiment was not the best experience in the world.

I could recount each and every time I had talked to _him _in the past two months. Well, we didn't really _talk. _He wasn't the heart-to-heart conversation person, and I adored him for it. Our only interaction was the rare chance that I was partnered with him to spar when the team worked on building speed and strength exercises. Each time he would beat me, of course, but this last time was different, only this afternoon. I actually wanted to beat him, just once, so I tried harder and he noticed the difference. I was visibly centimeters closer to landing that punch, his face squinted just a tiny bit more, his face furrowing into a harder line, his deep sideburns only adding to his woodsy personality. This final time it took exactly fifteen minutes for him to 'end' her, stopping himself before the final life-ending take when the session would be over. Every time before that it had taken only three minutes. He grunted in slight frustration and clutched my arms, holding my back against his chest, ending the spar. my heart was fluttering, out of breath. And I just couldn't say how much I was attracted to him.

"Again." I had said. Barely more than a whisper. A challenge.

I had stepped back and prepared to spar again, without the healing capabilities that Logan had, she was physically out of breath, not just mentally, whereas he was just warming up, only a slight sheen covering his forehead. He ran a hand though his thick dark brown hair and I couldn't say just how much I wanted to do that, just to see how it felt.

They sparred again, this one I had used up my entire remaining store of energy. With each kick and hit, he blocked, only beginning to show a sign of struggle I had never seen before. This one ended up being ten minutes, and as he blocked and defended, I jumped around him, sliding under as he turned around and around. Soon I grunted as my back hit the wooden floor hard, Logan's knees on either side of my thighs, one hand pinning down my wrist and the other pinning down the other. If I had thought my heart was racing before, it was jumping up and doing flips in the air. Audibly at one thousand beats per second. I gasped for air, not just because I was out of breath. I looked at the position we were in, him on top of me in an attack, face inches from my face. If this were real, it would have been the perfect opportunity to take the final blow and kill me. Lips inches from my lips. I could only imagine what it would have been for him to close the final two inches, to feel the rugged torn lips on mine. A musky woodsy scent wafted off of him, only making me wish he would.

I was only acutely aware that the rest of the team was watching when Jean clapped. "good job for today." She had said. And now I was here, alone in my bed, at two in the morning, wishing, crying, hoping that he could somehow be mine. I knew that he had lost all of his memory five years ago, and I knew he often escaped to Canada every so often to be alone, and I knew that his most prized possession was his leather jacket, and I knew the natural musk that rolled off of him when he walked. I knew he was feral, that his claws were made of adamantium, that he secretly had a past with Jean, and that he thought of Rogue as his sister. I cried out loud in my bed, never having any emotions as strong as these ever take me over. To envelop me completely, I felt like I was drowning in a pool of liquid emotion, fear that he would find out, and fear that he wouldn't, sorrow for his lost memories, pain, mostly pain that I wouldn't be able to live without him. only seeing him was just barely enough, I wanted more. To run my hand though his thick hair, to kiss his lips and restore his memories, to make sure that he loved me just the same.

* * *

**i have poured my heart and soul into this writing, please review.. please... and by the way i dont own the x-men characters or anthing marvel. though i wish i did... still working on that. **

**thanks and love,**

**~Rachelangelx-men~**


	2. Chapter 2

I grabbed my belongings into my arms and turned out of my last class for the day before I would have to get ready for dance. I was one of the last out of history class, and walked slowly in the empty hallways, only ten seconds later to hear footsteps running after me. I turned, knowing it wasn't _him_, and saw my both teacher and teammate, Warren running up to me. He had a smile on his face, his annoyingly perfectly whited teeth, eyes as blue as a lake, hair cut pristine like gold. He looked eager to see me despite the fact that I had been in his class only thirty seconds earlier. I realized just how young he was then, only one, maybe two years older than me, at least three inches taller than me, nothing compared to the intimidatingly attractive eight inches of Logan.

"hey." I said. He kept my slow pace as I walked father down the hallway. "What's up?"

"Nothing much. I don't have a class next, and I just thought I'd talk to you. By the way, nice job yesterday. It's rare that Logan gets some real competition." He smiled again, and it was as if he was some supermodel out of toothpaste commercial. _Very _handsome, but after seeing Logan, I wasn't sure if I'd ever have the same perspective.

"thanks." I nervously tucked a strand of lose hair behind my ear. "Though I wouldn't consider myself much competition. I've only been here two months." I laughed just a little.

"It's the effort you put. Not many of us are willing to put up to work with him." I laughed. I would do anything to work with him again. Warren paused and his face got a tiny bit nervous. "So, I was hoping that on Saturday this week we could go hiking. Maybe grab something to eat afterward?" I was speechless, and could not do anything but wonder why. I guess with my focus distracted, I never paid much attention to just how attracted Warren was. I was about to say no, but refocused. Maybe a new distraction was what I needed, something to keep me occupied. But I wasn't sure how I would re-think over this new choice tonight when I woke thinking of Logan.

"sure." I said. "Yes, yeah, I mean, that would be great." I stumbled over my words.

"Perfect. See you later?" he asked, raising an eyebrow, his eagerness made me want to rethink now.

"Sure. See you." He turned and left just as a very, _very _enraged Logan ran from around the corner and down the other. "What's his problem?" Warren asked rhetorically.

"yeah." I sighed, stuck in a trance. Even when seething, he couldn't help but make my bones turn to jelly.

I ran to the woods, claws extended, furious for a experiencing a feeling that was foreign to me. I had to think about how it had happened. Sitting in a ball against a tree, I concentrated.

I had been about to leave the kitchen in only another fit about the school not having beer, leaving Storm and Jean to their discussions behind me when I heard _her_ voice a few hallways over. I sighed and leaned on the doorframe, automatically listening in. the past month had been nothing but trouble for me, my feelings about everything out of whack. It was something with a new student, well, teacher, member of the x-men, whatever you felt like calling it. I noticed she had a different behavior around me than anyone else, and I had guessed it was because I was feral, but when I looked closer at her reactions, I saw she saw me the exact opposite, and still both at the same time. It drove me just about to the point of insanity, I was too used to people looking at me with utter fear or high respect in the case of Rogue and Jean. But this, this new girl, about nineteen or twenty looked at me different, and it gave me a case of the Goosebumps. In her small, deep, green eyes I saw emotions more along the line of attachment, love, something more, healthy panic, nervousness, and the most of all, undying attraction.

I had the idea to ask about fighting with her more, hoping that I could scare it out of her like most people, the feeling that I was terrified of. But it had the polar opposite effect on her, the flame in her eyes grew stronger, and what she didn't communicate in words I saw in her eyes. She enjoyed our spars, and I have to say that her skill was improving. This was all until yesterday. Yesterday she came at me with her best, seemingly better attempts than before, and drove me harder when she whispered the first words I heard out of her mouth.

"again." they were simple, to the point, and we began all over again. It almost was a struggle this time, but I prevailed in the end, the only solution was pinning her down on the ground, kneeling over her. I remembered her face exactly. A naïve but wise face, her breathing slowed and her heart sped. So fast. So very fast. Her lips parted, and her sweet sugary breath washed over my face. I got up then. I could handle it no more.

I stayed up all of last night, my mind too clouded, my judgment off balance. For the first time that I could remember, I called out to the professor in my mind.

_Yes Logan? _

"Help me." I breathed, still in shock over my emotions.

_Ha. You love her Logan. I cannot tell why, but you do. In addition, you will keep denying it until it drives you senseless._

"no." I whispered. "This can't be happening." I spent the rest of the night hyperventilating over _her _despite the fact that I was wolverine, the toughest of the tough.

I listened to her voice, trying to see who it was she was talking with. Great. Pigeon boy. I immediately disliked him extra.

"So, I was hoping that on Saturday this week we could go hiking. Maybe grab something to eat afterward?" that was his question? He had the audacity to ask her that? Surely she would say no. how could she say yes?

"Yes, yeah, I mean, that would be great." Was her reply, and it felt like a stab to the heart. I felt the worst pain in my life, the pain of jealousy. I was also furious that she had said yes. I was so completely sure she would say no. but she had said yes. I wanted to do nothing more than tear the bird boy to pieces and burn the remains, anything to protect this girl. My mind was so confused, and Jean sensed it, setting a hand on my back. I ran straight out past them, not even bothering to glance at her, out to the woods where I was now. Because I knew that if she asked anything, I would do it, and I could crumble at her feet.

* * *

sorry, this is a little repetitive. i think. maybe. maybe not. i don't know. whatever. as a reminder, i dont own x-men or marvel, or anything for that matter. but yeah. still deciding if i should post the next chapter or not. yeah. just rambling. but thanks to you guys who reviewed! 3 u all!

~rachelangelx-men~


	3. Chapter 3

yeah, i'm kinda stuck at the moment between a ton of things... but thank you to everyone who updated! i've never had that many even though it was only a few! i'm just running out of ideas for everything, if i make a plot line or where i want to keep the story going, i just end up leaving it in that form and never actually writing the story... so ideas are thoroughly encouraged! PLEASE just PM me ideas that you have, and if i use it, i'll give you half the credit!

thank you guys so much. really.

~Rachelangelx-men~


End file.
